Almost Alive!

When the Universe Conspired to Save Me

The story of
Separation, Suffering, Passion, and Perseverance
Noor Vasaya

I was crying in pain as someone held my hand and whispered that I was okay and she could hear the ambulance sirens and soon I'll be taken care of...

The Accident:

I never found the angel who consoled me moments after my near-fatal head-on car accident on that fateful morning of May 26th on Fraser Highway in Surrey, Canada. I would like to sincerely thank her for comforting me before the paramedics arrived.

The timing of my accident could not have been worse as my high school love, whom I saw after 5 years of separation and married just 11 months earlier in India, was preparing to arrive in a couple of weeks.

BCAS at Royal Columbian Hospital

Flashback:

Sabina, my teen love and childhood sweetheart whom I had seen at a National ISGREE (Ismaili Scouts Guides Camporee) in Bombay and instantly fell in love. It wasn't easy to win her heart due to her shy nature and conservative family. Though Sabina and I grew up in different neighbourhoods of South Bombay but were part of the same Ismaili community scouts-guides group. I never noticed her until I saw her Maharashtrian dance performance of "Chalaa Chalaa Tumhi Mumbaila" at the camp.

'And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.'
~ Paulo Coelho

“Kehte hain agar kisi cheez ko shiddat se chaho, toh poori kainath use tumse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai”
~ Om Shanti Om

Bombay riots:

My childhood in India was challenging. Frequent hospitalizations due to illness required significant resources, and my father worked multiple jobs to support our family. We moved frequently as we didn't own a home, relocating 14 times before I turned eighteen. After losing our last home in Bombay, we moved to a community housing society in Mumbra, Thane district. Unfortunately, communal riots erupted, making the school neighborhood unsafe. The unrest in my area of Thane forced me to transfer to her school in Bombay. This brought me closer to her, but unable to gain her attention directly, I befriended her classmate. Through this friend, I learned that Sabina reciprocated my feelings but was shy. Her friend secretly arranged a meeting between Sabina and me. To my surprise, Sabina knew about my family's impending move to the US. I promised her I would return for her, no matter what. It took three years from our first encounter at the camp to finally become her boyfriend.

Separation:

To improve our financial situation, my father and brother moved to the USA. A year into our relationship, my mother and I also immigrated to join them. This separated Sabina and me for five long years. While my parents knew about our relationship, hers did not. In the pre-email and mobile era of the late 80s and early 90s, this meant I couldn't contact Sabina directly. Instead, she would write to me in New York, and I would send my replies to my best friend, Yasin, in Bombay. His sister would then secretly deliver my letters to her, much like in a Bollywood film. This was how we maintained our long-distance relationship for five years. I had no idea when or if I would be able to return to India, as we were living in the US without legal status. Going back then meant potentially never being able to return to America. The only option was to somehow obtain a work permit or a Green Card, a process that would take years.

new york adventureS:

While living in Queens, I worked at a newsstand and candy store in Manhattan during the day and attended Queens College at night to earn my GED. This period also brought many positive experiences, including writing, directing, and acting in community plays, allowing me to pursue my childhood passion. Rooted in the principle of "Once A Scout Always A Scout," and with New York becoming our home, I continued my commitment to community service by joining the Boy Scouts of America and serving as a scoutmaster for Troop 25 in Queens. I was also honored with the "Order Of The Arrow Scout" recognition from the BSA.

I worked tirelessly seven days a week, balancing studies and saving every penny, eager to return and see my love as soon as possible. During this time, I met interesting people, including Martin, a Black limo driver and regular at the candy store. His friendship, acts of kindness, and a particularly strange incident inspired a part of my screenplay, #DrivingMrDesi. I also made other new friends and enjoyed aspects of my late teens and early adulthood, but the constant longing for my sweetheart was always present.

Roughing IT in NY:

My time in New York wasn't without its scary moments. I was robbed at gunpoint in the store and assaulted by muggers in the subway. Late one Sunday evening, after closing the store in Manhattan, my boss's father, Mr. Nansey, and I were on a nearly empty subway train back to Queens. Two Hispanic men boarded and waited for their chance. Once we were alone in the car, they approached us, demanding our wallets at gunpoint and snatching the gold chain I was wearing. One of them robbed Mr. Nansey, yelling at him to empty his pockets as the next station approached. When I asked them to leave him alone, it angered them, and one of them struck me on the side of my face with the fist holding the handgun. Shaken and temporarily deafened, I could only watch as they fled as soon as the subway doors opened. We reported the incident to the NY Transit Police, and I spent a day at One Police Plaza looking through albums of mugshots of suspected robbers.

After surviving three years in New York, fate intervened once more. My sister, who was living in Canada, sponsored my parents and me. As a dependent child under 21, I was able to immigrate with them, becoming a Canadian landed immigrant. While I could finally travel back to India to see my sweetheart, I decided to settle in first. We lived in my sister's basement, where my mother helped care for her young children. Another two years passed as we worked to establish ourselves in Vancouver, one of the most expensive cities in North America. Eventually, my father and I found jobs and moved into our place.

Monsoon Wedding:

I fulfilled the promise I made to Sabina when we met the first time (Jab We Met). After living three years in New York and then in Vancouver for two I got to see my love after five longest years of my life. The entire Vasaya clan was to arrive in Bombay from the USA and Canada to attend my cousin, Zeenat's planned wedding. While we were all going to be there, our families suggested Sabina and I get married as well at the same time. "Neki Aur Pooch Pooch?" My aunt in Bombay took my proposal (RISHTA) to Sabina's family and they accepted it and agreed to get us married at such short notice. Sabina was to then complete her Bachelor's degree before coming to Canada.

We had two monsoon weddings 15 days apart in the midst of all the Mumbai rain and power outages in the month of June. Sabina and I took off to Bangalore-Mysore-Ooty for our honeymoon and had the best time of our lives. We spent a few weeks together before I returned to Canada and immediately filed for her immigration. Within 8 months she was granted her visa and we were going to be reunited once again before our first anniversary. She was happily making her travel plans unaware of the accident while I was fighting for my life in the Royal Columbian Hospital.

The Crash:

I was working as a drapery installer heading to a job site in the company vehicle around 9 am that fateful morning of May 26th. A Toyota Pickup from the oncoming side suddenly swirled into my lane and hit my Ford EconoVan head-on. After the collision, I went blank and then felt some hard pieces of rock-like material in my mouth and saw blood all over my clothes. I couldn't move my legs and had partly fallen off to the right. I grabbed the rear-view mirror to pull myself up, saw my face, and fainted.

The next thing I recall was my angel's voice consoling me. I was crying in pain as someone held my hand and whispered that I was okay and she could hear the ambulance sirens and soon I'll be taken care of.

I don't remember how the rescuers removed me from the wreckage. I was coming in and out of conscienceless in the Ambulance as they were trying to stabilize me. I was hearing the paramedic's radio, my company pager going off, and the lights overhead moving backward as they were pushing the stretcher in the ER. I do not recall anything else after that. When I woke up, I was in the post-surgery recovery room.

CRIPPLED:

The doctors had prepared my parents for the worst, warning them that they might have to amputate my left leg due to a severely broken femur. They also said I might not walk properly for at least a year. Fortunately, the experienced orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Piper, and his team were able to save my leg. They inserted a long plate and several screws into my leg and hip bones. Remarkably, Dr. Piper was the same doctor who treated the Canadian legend, Terry Fox.

Another surgeon reconstructed my face by removing several damaged upper teeth and gums. The hard, rock-like objects I felt in my mouth after the accident turned out to be my own broken teeth. The impact from the steering wheel likely struck my chin, forcing my lower lip into my upper front teeth, breaking them completely. The lacerations on my lower lip, chin, and arm required reconstructive surgeries as well

Both vehicles involved in this accident were in such a bad shape that a local newspaper reported it as a fatal accident. It was later corrected to "not fatal" as both drivers survived with severe injuries.

Since I was out of danger, my parents decided to keep my accident news a secret from families in India until Sabina’s arrival so that she could travel without worrying. Her arrival was scheduled earlier but we delayed it by making excuses so that I was out of the hospital and able to receive her at the airport. My brother in Atlanta could not come to see me but my cousin, Ramzanbhai whom I came to America with flew immediately from New York to be by my side. (Ramzanali Vasaya, my cousin passed away on Jan 1st, 2016 suddenly and tragically. Rest in peace brother)

Just in the last decade, I was able to reconnect with Dr. Piper as his family happened to be connected to one of my work colleagues at Douglas College. After reading my story, Ryan connected me to Doctor Piper, who had been retired for many years. I called and thanked him a few years back for saving my leg. I am glad I was able to do so before he passed away during the pandemic. May his soul rest in eternal peace!

Passion:

As I lay in my hospital bed worried about my future; How will Sabina take this when she finds out? Whether I'll ever walk properly, look normal or be able to pursue my passion? From a very young age, I use to write, act and direct plays/skits and stage performances in my community in Bombay as well as in New York.

I was and am still known as Charlie due to my several Charlie Chaplin acts including the last one in New York, a couple of years before my accident.

My very first stage performance in Bombay was appreciated by the actor Simi Garewal when I was just eight. As a teen, I also was selected by the Health Board of South Bombay to perform as an addict in a Street-Play. A group of 10 volunteer actors in a play directed by Aliraza Namdar would perform at schools, colleges, community centres, and on the streets of Bombay to bring awareness about the effects of drug abuse. One of the performances in my own school, Diamond Jubilee High assembly hall in Mazagoan, Mumbai was witnessed and highly admired by veteran actor, Late Sunil Dutt ji (father of Sanjay Dutt) who was the Sharif of Bombay at that time.

Motivation:

While I was sad and depressed in the hospital bed, my dad motivated me by reminding me how we have always overcome our adversities by working together. The struggles we faced after losing everything in Bombay including our home. How I had to quit school and move to Mumbra (a suburb of Bombay) to a community social housing. How my dad after working two jobs, helped me bring heavy rolls of steel wool in the local trains at night. We would then carry it on our shoulders over a kilometer to our place. I would then pack it into small rolls and wholesale it to the local retailers in Mumbra on foot and between Thane and Dombivali on local trains. How I became a better student after these struggles by returning back to school after a one-year interval and completing my high school with first class. My dad promised to support me as long as he could until I get back on my feet again.

MIXED FEELINGS:

Sabina arrived 3 weeks after the accident totally unaware of my condition. I remember hiding behind a pillar with my crutches at the airport and was afraid to show her my deformed face with all the lacerations and stitches. I had lost several of my front teeth in the accident and was not even able to talk properly due to stitches on my lower lips. I had lost 10 kg and didn't look anything like the man she married just a year ago.

When my cousin was preparing for what she was going to see, she couldn't believe it and thought it was another one of the pranks that I was known for. She was happy to be reunited with me but devastated to see my condition. With these mixed feelings, she bravely accepted the challenge of taking care of a crippled man who needed a lot of care and support. She took care of me while my mom and dad supported us during this ordeal and 4 years of rehab. I was determined to get back on my feet and enjoy my new life with my beautiful and courageous wife. I quickly progressed from wheelchair to crutches and then walked with a cane. I was walking with a limp in the beginning but was dancing in six months.

Lost Dreams:

I was planning a career in acting/directing and was working with my friend Anirudh Chawla in Vancouver to revive my Mumbai play about drug addiction to suit the Canadian audience. We had planned to start a Bollywood talk Radio/TV show due to our common interests. He managed to go back to Mumbai to pursue his passion and became a successful RJ & a Bollywood screenplay writer in Mumbai (Dillage, Modi, and other TV shows). Due to this disability and the uncertainty of my full recovery, I had to put my passion for acting and directing on the back burner.

Re-LEARN TO EARN:

This accident left our family with a financial burden, as I was unable to sue the other party for damages due to the workers' compensation laws. Since both of us sustained our injuries at work, we fell under the Worker's Compensation umbrella.

It covered all the medical expenses and a portion of my wages while I was in rehab. I had the choice to accept permanent disability and receive a small amount every month for the rest of my life, but I chose not to be labeled disabled. Instead, I fought with Worksafe BC to pay for my education, as I decided to return to a trade school to upgrade my employment skills to suit my current physical condition. Worksafe was unwilling to retrain someone working a minimum wage job, as they could do that in any entry-level job.

I certainly wasn't able to go back to my previous job as a drapery installer nor able to pump gas in cold weather due to my injuries to make minimum wages. They finally approved my schooling cost after a fight involving an amazing lawyer, Mr. Scott Neilson. I was able to start my course two years after the accident at VCC (Vancouver Community College).

Bundle of joy:

It was only a few weeks into my course and in the electronics class that morning when our first child decided to make her debut a little early. Our daughter, Nazifaa Vasaya didn't even wait long enough before I could be contacted and be there to receive her at the hospital. This little bundle of joy brought us all lot of happiness in those struggling times. I certified as an Electronics Technician a year later and started looking for a job as my temporary disability benefit had ended. My previous employer hired me as a part-time window coverings salesman with minimum pay while I looked for a job in my new career. Finding suitable employment in the electronics industry wasn't easy due to a lack of experience.

THE Sufferings:

My new bride faced significant challenges as she became depressed and suicidal due to the aftermath of my accident, financial issues, and our family situation. She had enjoyed a comfortable life back home and never anticipated such hardships in Canada. Although we had planned a reception for our family and friends in Vancouver/USA upon her arrival, that never materialized. In the initial months, we struggled to meet basic needs since I was receiving only 60% of my wages, and Sabina, who had to care for me, couldn't start working immediately.

Sabina, a commerce graduate from Bombay, had hoped to further her studies in Canada, but that dream was quickly dashed. There were times when we couldn’t make ends meet with the home mortgage I had taken just before the accident, and we struggled to provide basic necessities for ourselves and our daughter.

Her condition began to improve after we moved out of the joint family setup into a basement suite, where we had our second child, Ziyana Vasaya (now an actor). Unable to work as an installer, I started working as a drapery salesman when my benefits stopped, but it was insufficient to cover family expenses, the house mortgage, and the rent for the basement suite. We had moved back in with my parents with our two toddlers.

To help ease the financial hardship we were facing, I put my sewing skills to use and began earning a few bucks each week. I had taken sewing lessons back home during my teenage years, simply as a hobby. With the help of a family friend, Navaz, who tailored for dry cleaners part-time from home, I was able to brush up on my skills. He not only guided me but also helped me purchase sewing machines and got me started by sharing some of his alteration accounts. Word quickly spread within our community, and more people began bringing me hemming and zipper replacement work. It’s true that nothing you learn ever goes to waste. Even a simple hobby can become a source of income when you need it most.

I was motivated to start my own window-covering business with the help of my ex-employer and a $40K loan against our house. Unfortunately, the venture failed because my disabilities prevented me from managing all aspects of the business like selling, managing, and installing. Without the means to hire and maintain additional staff, we lost all our investment within two years. And was back looking for a full-time job.

THE Struggles:

Starting and sustaining a new small business in BC in the 90s was tougher than I had anticipated. I took a job as a commercial AV systems installer, which was far more demanding and labor-intensive than the drapery installation work I had been doing before my accident. With a family of four to support, a mortgage, and a business loan to pay off, I continued running my business part-time while working full-time. The AV job required a lot of travel, so Sabina stayed home to raise our daughters and helped with the business whenever she could.

Twelve years after the accident, I was still struggling to secure a stable future for our family by juggling two jobs. Unfortunately, I sustained a back injury that made continuing the physically demanding AV installation work nearly impossible. In 2005, I decided to change my career once again and returned to school. My training and experience in the technology field eventually led me to a career as an IT professional, securing my current job.

By working full-time at the college and managing my business part-time, I was finally able to pay off our debts. Despite the long hours, we remain committed to supporting our children as they complete their university degrees. We deeply value education because it was crucial to getting us back on track. Looking back, I don't think I would have returned to school if it weren't for the lessons learned during those challenging times. I used the rehabilitation periods after the accident to learn new skills in the field of Technology. Despite some physical challenges that I continue to have, I believe that sometimes tragedies present opportunities to retrain and pursue new paths that you otherwise might not consider. These experiences made me stronger and a better person. So, friends, never be disheartened or give up—only He knows what is best for you.

PERSEVERANCE:

I kept my passion for writing and performing alive and did it whenever I got an opportunity. Twenty-five years after the accident, I completed my dream project of writing a script that I have copyrighted in Canada. UnExtorted is a comedy-of-error, suspense thriller. I have written both English and Hindi versions of it. The Bollywood version called "Khalbali" aka "TheChaos" can be made as a feature film or a web series and I am actively seeking production houses to make it.

My first song, "Naad-e-Ali," for which I contributed lyrics (credited), has been released on all major music platforms and has garnered 6 million views on YouTube alone. This soulful Sufi qawwali, composed by the renowned Bollywood music director duo Salim-Sulaiman, features the mesmerizing voices of Salim Merchant, Raj Pandit, Vipul Mehta, and Salman Ali (Indian Idol fame).